Long Awaited, Half-Hearted Revival in the hopes that I will be discovered and become an overnight viral success and finally have my wit, intelligence and talent recognised. No big.

According to this, I have not contributed to my fame-making blog since 2010.
That's four years.
In actual fact, I have at many times written pieces for my blog, only to read them and think they were shit, or just not get around to posting them until it is far too late.
The truth of the matter is, I have become so traumatised by an event in my life that I, at first, went into fight mode - I took action on my life to try and make things better.
After a successful attempt, I then floundered, and have slowly but surely stagnated.
Looks like that shouldn't take 4 years to do, but it has.
And in the meantime, I have gotten older... so old, in fact, that I may be too late to do anything about it.
Sure, sure, it's never too late, bla bla bla... I used to think that was true, but the world has been telling me otherwise.  The world is telling me that yeah, you can aim for your dreams... but in the meantime some kid twenty years younger, without a fucked back and fresh out of training, who hasn't been pounded down by shithouse life events, is also going for those dreams, and frankly, it's like betting on a pedigree race horse versus a lame donkey.
I'D still bet on me (the lame donkey, in case you were wondering... I know, I know, TWIST!), but that's only because I like the underdog.  But in a realistic world, donkey's get shot and made into glue.
Which leads me to beg the question... do I just lay down and die, spiritually speaking, and get any old, monotonous, low-paying JOB where I only show up for my paycheck and hate myself more each day, or keep holding out and pushing for the dream I've been pushing for my whole life but haven't caught a break yet and, if going rates are anything to go by, am quite unlikely to??
Or do I just do myself and the tax-payer (not me) a favour and put a bullet in my skull.