Jeebus, has it really been 3 months since my last post???
That's the thing about chronic pain and depression, it's so easy to let the days slip by just trying to keep yourself comfortable in the fight against gravity.
I had a whole lot of posts that I'd scribbled up and thought I'd posted but turns out were just saved as drafts and when I read them again they were just babble, much like 54 previous.
Perhaps it's the weather, perhaps it's a Kiwi thing... I wish I had some of that eternal American optimism, but NZ'ers are far too hard and cynical for that. American Optimism quite often reeks of insincerity (and frankly, inefficiency, something I LOATHE), to the point that I adopt an American accent when I'm having a fake realisation or being fake excited about something (no offence American friends), something I have done since teenagehood. Honestly, I don't know how they do it. Who has the time to smile that much?? Or politely discuss then ask, instead of just coming right out with it.
Example:
Example:
American Conversation between brothers -
(ring ring... ring ring...)
CHUCK: Hello?
SKIP: Hey Chuck, it's your brother, Skip.
CHUCK: Hey brother!
SKIP: Hey bro! How are you?
CHUCK: Yeah I'm good bro, how about you?
SKIP: Yeah, I'm Super, trucking along, you know how it is.
CHUCK: Yep, Yep, I sure do bro. How's Mercedes?
SKIP: She's great, she just got a promotion at work, so she's Super excited about that, really happy. Plus it means a few more days vacay for us, so that can only be good, right?
CHUCK: Oh, heeeey, Greeeeaaat, that's fantastic! We should definitely plan a little family trip somewhere bro, take the girls and the kids camping.
SKIP: Yeah bro, that sounds great!
CHUCK: Yeah! Excellent.
SKIP: Hey, so I was just calling about, see, we're having this school board meet here this weekend, but the hedges around the side of the house are getting a bit long, so I wanted to trim them.
CHUCK: Oh yeah, did you want to borrow my hedge trimmers?
SKIP: Yeah bro, if it's not too much bother!
CHUCK: Nah bro, it's no bother, no bother at all! You want me to drop it round on my way into the city tomorrow?
SKIP: Yeah bro, that'd be excellent.
CHUCK: No problem, no problem bro.
SKIP: Are you sure, because I honestly don't mind coming out to get it myself, I was gonna do that anyway.
CHUCK: Nah bro, I'm coming in through that way anyway, it's no problem.
SKIP: You're sure, you're honestly sure.
CHUCK: YES, I'm Sure!
SKIP: Well alrighty then. Thanks a lot bro, I appreciate it.
CHUCK: No problem, no problem, I'll come by tomorrow morning.
SKIP: What time?
CHUCK: Uuuuh, probably around 7, 7.30 A.M.?
SKIP: Okay, well Mercedes and I will both have left for work by then but you know where the spare key is, just put it inside somewhere and lock the house up again on the way out.
CHUCK: Sure. No problem.
SKIP: That's Awesome bro, thank you again.
CHUCK: Hey, what are brothers for right? I'll talk to you soon.
SKIP: Alright, see you later bro.
CHUCK: Bye bro!
CLICK.
KIWI conversation between brothers:
(ring ring... ring ring...)
DAVE: Hello?
STEVE: Hey, it's me.
DAVE: 'Sup.
STEVE: Just wondering if I can borrow your hedge trimmers bro.
DAVE: Yeah sweet. Just don't fuckin' break 'em.
STEVE: Yeah yeah. You coming into town tomorrow?
DAVE: Yep.
STEVE: Sweet, can you drop them off?
DAVE: Yep.
STEVE: Sweet. You know where the key is right?
DAVE: Yep.
STEVE: Sweet, just dump it inside.
DAVE: Sweet.
STEVE: Cheers bro.
DAVE: All good.
STEVE: Laters.
DAVE: Laters.
CLICK.
Now THAT'S Efficiency.
...
I have no idea where I was going with that, so let's move on shall we?
...
I have no idea where I was going with that, so let's move on shall we?
*
Let's talk about GAME OF THRONES.
I looooooooooooove me some G.O.T., and don't get me wrong, I still do...
but I thought Season 5 was a bit... Meh.
I think it was the pacing for me. Obviously this is where the shows are diverging from the books, so the strands of the show are starting to become the only strands we know. Some of the stories are reaching their written counterpoints, others have been making it up as they go along, others dropped from coverage altogether.
No longer bound to a source material it has morphed from almost slavish-book-adherence into (I'm guessing) it's own Georgie-approved broad-strokes-of-future-story-only beast (you got all that right?).
In a nutshell, some of deez characters stories is just straight-up filler shit yo.
Let's review.
*Spoilers ahead, peasants.*
1. If Stannis is truly dead - and I've yet to believe he is (he may be of more use to Brienne alive), but IF he is... then what was the point of him of at all? To provide fodder for the various battles he SUCKED IN before dying? Ugh.
2. Jamie, and the whole Dorne "saga". UGH. What a waste of time that was. Bar the final scenes when Elia pashed Myrcella for just a tad too obviously long as I sat there saying "Poison lipstick... she's wearing poison lipstick... Come on, really? Get off her already, we get it, you're wearing poison lipstick... OK, any longer and we're gonna have to call the Police and Child Services M'am because now you're just creepy. That's right... back awaaaaaaay from the child.", and as they sailed the great distance of about a kilometre off-shore, Jamie sits Myrcella down for a very awkward chat -
"Who's Your Daddy?"
"It's OK Uncle Daddy, I'm glad you and Mother are Brother and Sister, 'cause this one time, at band camp, with Joffrey and Tommen and a triple-pronged silver candlestick holder with mother-of-pearl trim, bejeweled with rubies and sapphires...",
And then just when you thought things might get even weirder up in dis here Lannister-family ship(wreck), Ie:
Myrcella up and goes -
and Uncle Daddy just came all this way to not root his Daughter-Niece after all so... what was the point of that?!? That's what he was going there for, right?
Also, wouldn't you just turn around and go back? Go see wheelchair-whatshisface and say 'Yo, bitch just kill my bitch dawg' and wheelchair-whatshisface go 'Shiiiiiit, sorry dawg! You know dat bitch be trippin', and Jamie go 'Bitch betta step off', and wheelchair go 'Bitch get her head off' and then fist bump and on their merry way.
But nooooooo, turning the ship around would be super hard so we'll just sail back across the ocean instead before we inevitably come back with Cersei's pet Frankenstein for revenge.
In any case, Dorne sucked, and all we got out of it was 3 seconds of Jamie cracking a semi (alright, tear) over his Daughter cuddles.
Meh.
And as for the fucking Dorne Kardashians, UGH, they just verged on comical. Unless the Martells have some serious plot power going into the end of the books (and if Stannis is any standard to go by, they probably don't), that whole kingdom could have been wiped off the shows map and we wouldn't be any worse off.
3. LOVING Sansa this season, and although she's starting to grow a spine, she certainly isn't the empowered bad-ass Queen of Winterfell that I'd hoped she'd become. She is gonna end up playing the politcal game though, and she will rise in power just in time to welcome back her super-assassin sister, animal-controlling brothers, and white-walker-slaying cousin (if the going theory that Jon Snow is Ned's sister's child and not Ned's at all).
4. Speaking of Jon... Even though he got to go KA-POW!!!
but then Rob-Zombie-Lord is all
and Jon saves everyone, but then, oops, sorry Bro, but you're out. And then stabbity-stab-stab and then
That poor boy was skewered like a melon with cheese-and-onion-toothpicks in the 70's.
But do you really expect me to believe Jon Snow is dead? I don't think so. I mean, I know anyone can die in this show, but not him, or Danearys, nor anyone we're REALLY INVESTED in - Stark kids, Tyrion, Jon and Dany, that's who's coming out on top. I mean think about it, we're not going to care about a final battle that involves none of our favourite characters and a completely new cast than the one we started out with. I mean, that's like the last few seasons of Melrose Place... *shudder*
5. Cersei.... Poor Cersei...
An idiot child-king for a son, sulking in his room because he doesn't quite realise he has the power to chop off heads to get what he wants...
a daughter you sent away and will never see again...
your only other son was a sadistic little fuckwit who deserved the death he got (as did you),
and now you've been dragged down about as far as you could be,
but I thought Season 5 was a bit... Meh.
I think it was the pacing for me. Obviously this is where the shows are diverging from the books, so the strands of the show are starting to become the only strands we know. Some of the stories are reaching their written counterpoints, others have been making it up as they go along, others dropped from coverage altogether.
No longer bound to a source material it has morphed from almost slavish-book-adherence into (I'm guessing) it's own Georgie-approved broad-strokes-of-future-story-only beast (you got all that right?).
In a nutshell, some of deez characters stories is just straight-up filler shit yo.
Let's review.
*Spoilers ahead, peasants.*
1. If Stannis is truly dead - and I've yet to believe he is (he may be of more use to Brienne alive), but IF he is... then what was the point of him of at all? To provide fodder for the various battles he SUCKED IN before dying? Ugh.
2. Jamie, and the whole Dorne "saga". UGH. What a waste of time that was. Bar the final scenes when Elia pashed Myrcella for just a tad too obviously long as I sat there saying "Poison lipstick... she's wearing poison lipstick... Come on, really? Get off her already, we get it, you're wearing poison lipstick... OK, any longer and we're gonna have to call the Police and Child Services M'am because now you're just creepy. That's right... back awaaaaaaay from the child.", and as they sailed the great distance of about a kilometre off-shore, Jamie sits Myrcella down for a very awkward chat -
"Who's Your Daddy?"
"It's OK Uncle Daddy, I'm glad you and Mother are Brother and Sister, 'cause this one time, at band camp, with Joffrey and Tommen and a triple-pronged silver candlestick holder with mother-of-pearl trim, bejeweled with rubies and sapphires...",
And then just when you thought things might get even weirder up in dis here Lannister-family ship(wreck), Ie:
Myrcella up and goes -
and Uncle Daddy just came all this way to not root his Daughter-Niece after all so... what was the point of that?!? That's what he was going there for, right?
Also, wouldn't you just turn around and go back? Go see wheelchair-whatshisface and say 'Yo, bitch just kill my bitch dawg' and wheelchair-whatshisface go 'Shiiiiiit, sorry dawg! You know dat bitch be trippin', and Jamie go 'Bitch betta step off', and wheelchair go 'Bitch get her head off' and then fist bump and on their merry way.
But nooooooo, turning the ship around would be super hard so we'll just sail back across the ocean instead before we inevitably come back with Cersei's pet Frankenstein for revenge.
In any case, Dorne sucked, and all we got out of it was 3 seconds of Jamie cracking a semi (alright, tear) over his Daughter cuddles.
Meh.
And as for the fucking Dorne Kardashians, UGH, they just verged on comical. Unless the Martells have some serious plot power going into the end of the books (and if Stannis is any standard to go by, they probably don't), that whole kingdom could have been wiped off the shows map and we wouldn't be any worse off.
3. LOVING Sansa this season, and although she's starting to grow a spine, she certainly isn't the empowered bad-ass Queen of Winterfell that I'd hoped she'd become. She is gonna end up playing the politcal game though, and she will rise in power just in time to welcome back her super-assassin sister, animal-controlling brothers, and white-walker-slaying cousin (if the going theory that Jon Snow is Ned's sister's child and not Ned's at all).
4. Speaking of Jon... Even though he got to go KA-POW!!!
but then Rob-Zombie-Lord is all
and Jon saves everyone, but then, oops, sorry Bro, but you're out. And then stabbity-stab-stab and then
That poor boy was skewered like a melon with cheese-and-onion-toothpicks in the 70's.
But do you really expect me to believe Jon Snow is dead? I don't think so. I mean, I know anyone can die in this show, but not him, or Danearys, nor anyone we're REALLY INVESTED in - Stark kids, Tyrion, Jon and Dany, that's who's coming out on top. I mean think about it, we're not going to care about a final battle that involves none of our favourite characters and a completely new cast than the one we started out with. I mean, that's like the last few seasons of Melrose Place... *shudder*
5. Cersei.... Poor Cersei...
An idiot child-king for a son, sulking in his room because he doesn't quite realise he has the power to chop off heads to get what he wants...
a daughter you sent away and will never see again...
your only other son was a sadistic little fuckwit who deserved the death he got (as did you),
and now you've been dragged down about as far as you could be,
(by the way, didn't you just love the 'SHAME!' bell-lady! I want one!)
and I know it's supposed to humanise her and all that...
but actually, I think all me and the rest of the world think is
*
Later bitches. Stay classy.
