I've been reading over some of my earlier blog posts. You know, the ones from 5 years ago (lol). I am stricken with how much they don't seem like it was 5 years ago that I wrote them. In fact, I am daily stricken by how easily I let time tick by. Honestly. There are some weeks that just vanish and I'm like "Wow. I acheived ZERO this week".
I hate those weeks. But there's only so much job hunting you can do before you become completely disillusioned and return to EZPZ RPG on your phone to kill your brain.
I'm sure there was a time when I was 28 or so and I thought God Kill Me if I am in the same position in ten years. Those thoughts kind of motivate you into doing things like courses to improve your lot in life... but here I am, staring 38 down a barrel, thinking Hmmmm... I'm not dead yet. Nor am I anywhere near where I wanted to be 10 years ago. In fact, I'm in the same boat. Only with worse teeth and fatter (thank god for my hair - knock on wood).
Unless I start lying about my age to potential employers... I'm beginning to feel pretty fucked. Why would anyone hire me when they can hire someone half my age for half the rate? If I was the kind of person that could that do a dumb job and not hate myself for it, I would never have left my teenage job stacking shelves in the supermarket - god help me, I'm actually considering going back to it.
I hate those weeks. But there's only so much job hunting you can do before you become completely disillusioned and return to EZPZ RPG on your phone to kill your brain.
I'm sure there was a time when I was 28 or so and I thought God Kill Me if I am in the same position in ten years. Those thoughts kind of motivate you into doing things like courses to improve your lot in life... but here I am, staring 38 down a barrel, thinking Hmmmm... I'm not dead yet. Nor am I anywhere near where I wanted to be 10 years ago. In fact, I'm in the same boat. Only with worse teeth and fatter (thank god for my hair - knock on wood).
Unless I start lying about my age to potential employers... I'm beginning to feel pretty fucked. Why would anyone hire me when they can hire someone half my age for half the rate? If I was the kind of person that could that do a dumb job and not hate myself for it, I would never have left my teenage job stacking shelves in the supermarket - god help me, I'm actually considering going back to it.
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