Wednesday, January 28, 2015

BAD COPS, BAD DRUNKS, TRANNIES AND TIT JOBS.

FANTASTIRAMA.

Have I ever mentioned how great Futurama is?
And also Archer. If you've never watched Archer, go do it now.
God I love adult animation... it's the best.

Squeezers?... SQUEEZERS! They're CLAMPS, you F&%$!
If I wanna f&%$in snip with these clamps, I will Snip with these F&%$in Clamps!”

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BAD COP.


Ok, so this Central Otago POLICEMAN got caught filming a teenager in the shower at the house using his police-issue phone, as you'll read in the photo.
What pisses me off about this is that he got name suppression in court.
I understand the need to protect the victim, and perhaps this was something the victim wanted... but REALLY?? Fuckheads like this need to be named and shamed...

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SO MANY SHOWS... SO LITTLE TIME.

I have been house-sitting this week. It's been part bliss, part opportunity for me to take stock in the direction of my life, part opportunity to wallow in the lack of it.
Also, they have cable television which is... like... total brain drain.
Kourtney and Khloe Take The Hamptons has been a guilty pleasure. Watching re-runs of Absolutely Fabulous has just been a pleasure.


"Have you had a Really Bad tit job?"

Downside? Waking in the middle of the night to the cat throwing up on the carpet and not being able to get all of the stain out. Ugh.
It has definitely inspired me to get my own place again. Without a cat of course.
So cute... so allergic.

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BAD DRUNKS.
The weekend before last was my Aunty's 60th birthday party. She's a boozer, so it was a boozy night. But booze has it's downsides. Dammit.
It was a good afternoon and night, until some people had that one beer too many and had to go and make it all about themselves.
Firstly her daughter, that has all but been disowned from the family anyway because of her downright ludicrous behaviour when she's pissed, decided to show up. Pissed. After her mother had been around that morning and expressly forbid her from coming to the party. After she had gotten pissed the night before, gone around to her mother's and laid into her calling her a slut.
She promptly got told to Fuck Off by her brother and sisters, and proceeded to scream and yell and make a scene. But she did eventually leave.
What people need to realise is that when someone is drunk and demanding attention like that, you have to ignore them, or you're just buying into it and feeding their need.
When everyone ran outside to go have a looksee, I told them all to get back inside and stop making her feel justified.
Secondly my 16 year old cousin was going around stealing drinks off tables and blatantly walking around with them. He also had been left at home and told not to come, but also had to make it all about himself and ended up conning other family members to bring him. He ended up drunk, got told to stop drinking, and proceeded to throw a tantrum and storm off down the main road smashing shop windows.
Another cousin and I tried to go after him but he was running and away and hiding, and after about 5 minutes I thought 'Bugger This' and rang the cops on his ass.
Fuck it. They can deal with it.
No sooner had I shook that off and gone back to the pub, I start enjoying myself once and again and my brother and other cousin have had that one beer too many and decided to start having a go at each other.
I'm trying to split them up, but when he started telling other cousins they were sluts, ugly, etc, I once again thought “Fuck this,” and went back inside to enjoy my night and drink my beer.
By that stage I was so over bad drunks -
and let's face it, that's what they are: Bad Drunks who can't handle their piss -
that I just wanted to do what I had gone there to do, and that was enjoy myself at my Aunty's birthday party.
And so I sat in the garden bar out the back... alone... listening to the crowd outside crash and bang and scream and yell and fight, shaking my head in disappointment.
Fuckin drunks...
Why can't everyone just get Happy!  And Dance!  And Fuck!  Like Me!
What is WITH this fuckin anger management puff out your chest Bullshit...
It's soooo WEAK.
You hear me Bad Drunks out there?
You're not Tuff, or Cool, or Impressive...
...
You're WEAK.

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GEORGIE GIRL.


The Events Centre has started these weekly screenings of Kiwi made doco's and films, and last week they played Georgie Girl. It's a doco about Georgina Bayer – the first transsexual Mayor of Carterton slash The World, and subsequently the first transsexual Member of Parliament of New Zealand slash The World.
I had been invited by my friends' gay dads, who are old friends with Georgina, and with whom Georgina was staying. I went over to theirs a couple hours early, we had drinks and nibbles, and then went to the Event Centre, where half the town had turned up to see it... and then where we were told it was sold out.
I just laughed at the fact that they had invited me about a week earlier and hadn't thought to get tickets.
Georgina tried to pull some strings but to no avail, so within 5 minutes were turning around and going home again... only to get a phone call once we were there saying “Hey, I've got you seats, come back,”, and within another 5 minutes we were in the front row next to the guest of honour.   LOL.
The doco itself is very honest stuff. She talks about her childhood, her disconnect from feeling like a boy, her first discovery of a gay club that had drag queens, and realisation she too could do that too, her surgery, her rape, her acting, her political career...
Great doco.
I was about 8 or 9 was when Georgina first moved to town, and she quickly became good friends with my best friends Mother (one of my many 2nd Mothers). I remember her arrival into our lives clearly, because I had always felt pretty odd being a boy growing up, went through phases of wanting to be a girl, and suddenly there was this person in our lives that we had never witnessed the likes of before.
I remember us lined up basically staring slack-jawed at Georgina, and after she'd gone we bombarded 2nd Mother with questions – was she a girl or boy?...
what do you mean she used to be a boy?...
you mean you can do that???...
It was the most eye opening thing to ever happen to me, just her coming to town...
but the fact that she went on to become the elected mayor of the town that I'd always hated growing up... it really did blow my mind.
She showed me that absolutely anything was possible.
If a Maori Transsexual could move to a small rural town, and become well-liked and respected enough to be ELECTED THE MAYOR by a primarily white, heterosexual, small-town community... well then surely I could be myself out in the big wide world.
And I was. And I was liked in spite of it.
And I've never publicly thanked her for that.
I wish I could have gushed to her in person after the screening, but alas, many were vying for her attention so I did what I do and gave her space...
I hate being a blatant fan-boy...
Ugh.
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