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Occasionally, one gets down about one’s life. It’s during these times that one must learn to suck it up and take a good hard look at what’s important in ones life. What brings one joy in ones life. What really kicks arse about ones life.
Me? I like sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Though I haven’t had nearly enough of at least two of those things of late. One might even say I’ve been BONE DRY.
What I am looking forward to is The B52S in Martinborough (of all places) next weekend, though they hardly count as rock n’ roll. Maybe Pop n’ Roll, or Whacked-Out-Dippy-Trippy-Loved-Up-Space-Hippy n’ Roll… Either way, I can’t wait.
My friend is jealous, but she’s going to Fleetwood Mac, which I’m jealous of. So at least we can be jealous of each other together.
Me? I like sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll. Though I haven’t had nearly enough of at least two of those things of late. One might even say I’ve been BONE DRY.
What I am looking forward to is The B52S in Martinborough (of all places) next weekend, though they hardly count as rock n’ roll. Maybe Pop n’ Roll, or Whacked-Out-Dippy-Trippy-Loved-Up-Space-Hippy n’ Roll… Either way, I can’t wait.
My friend is jealous, but she’s going to Fleetwood Mac, which I’m jealous of. So at least we can be jealous of each other together.
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I mostly have a lot of questions this week. Although, speaking of stories, I have been thinking about an online soap opera, which I am currently working on too. (Yeah, he scoffed, that and the 200 other projects you’ve started over the years. Key word: started. Oh shut up. No, You shut up!)
I’m going to write them out for you now. Please, feel free to answer any of them.
I’m going to write them out for you now. Please, feel free to answer any of them.
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· How come, no matter which line I choose at the Supermarket, every single other line will move through three times at the speed of light and I get the arsehole who wants to pay in ten cent pieces, and yes, they will have their frozens wrapped, and oh, I’m sure it’s the right pin number, let me try again, and who just has to run and grab one more thing they forgot, and oh I must have left my purse in the car I’ll just go grab it (says the old lady in a walking frame, before she hobbles out at snail pace to her car).
Now, don’t get me wrong. Murphy’s Law and I were acquainted many years ago. I have come to accept Murphy as a solid platform for my life to unfold on… BUT EVERY FRIGGIN TIME??? COME OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!! I swear, if you assembled all the camera footage from supermarkets of Me standing in line, you would think there was a conspiracy too…
· How come, no matter which line I choose at the Supermarket, every single other line will move through three times at the speed of light and I get the arsehole who wants to pay in ten cent pieces, and yes, they will have their frozens wrapped, and oh, I’m sure it’s the right pin number, let me try again, and who just has to run and grab one more thing they forgot, and oh I must have left my purse in the car I’ll just go grab it (says the old lady in a walking frame, before she hobbles out at snail pace to her car).
Now, don’t get me wrong. Murphy’s Law and I were acquainted many years ago. I have come to accept Murphy as a solid platform for my life to unfold on… BUT EVERY FRIGGIN TIME??? COME OOOOOOOOONNNNNNNN!!! I swear, if you assembled all the camera footage from supermarkets of Me standing in line, you would think there was a conspiracy too…
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· When, oh when, will this rain fuck off?
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· Why is “Leave It To Lamas” so completely lame-arse? Those people are fuckin’ idiots, oh my god.
· Why is “Leave It To Lamas” so completely lame-arse? Those people are fuckin’ idiots, oh my god.
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· Why are Lorenzo Lamas’ children so thick?? Like, thicker than your usual L.A. kid. Which is really saying something.
· Why are Lorenzo Lamas’ children so thick?? Like, thicker than your usual L.A. kid. Which is really saying something.
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· Why does the E Channel think endless, back-to-back, year long repeats of their lame reality TV shows is a good idea?
· Why does the E Channel think endless, back-to-back, year long repeats of their lame reality TV shows is a good idea?
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· Why don’t people appreciate Buffy the way I do?? And for what it is – ONE OF THE GREATEST TELEVISION SHOWS OF ALL TIME! Not many TV shows get their own papers in Universities. Don’t people know that angsty girls were gettin’ with vampires and werewolves LONG before – CACK – Edward and Jacob? Ugh. Respect where respect’s due, people!
· Why don’t people appreciate Buffy the way I do?? And for what it is – ONE OF THE GREATEST TELEVISION SHOWS OF ALL TIME! Not many TV shows get their own papers in Universities. Don’t people know that angsty girls were gettin’ with vampires and werewolves LONG before – CACK – Edward and Jacob? Ugh. Respect where respect’s due, people!
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· Why can’t I get Miley Cyrus’ “Party In The USA” out of my friggin’ head? I don’t even like it!... well… ok, maybe a little… But still, does it need to camp out in my brain?? You too, Deathcab For Cuties. BEAT IT.
· Why can’t I get Miley Cyrus’ “Party In The USA” out of my friggin’ head? I don’t even like it!... well… ok, maybe a little… But still, does it need to camp out in my brain?? You too, Deathcab For Cuties. BEAT IT.
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· Who is the mysterious NZ singer that tried to force a 16 year old to give him a blowjob in the back alley??? Oh, I mean that’s been in the news lately. He’s been granted Name Supression because – get this – “A scandal like this might affect his reputation and income”… GEE, YA THINK??? I’m going to speculate on Dane Rumble. He seems like a dick. SHAME ON YOU DANE RUMBLE…
· Who is the mysterious NZ singer that tried to force a 16 year old to give him a blowjob in the back alley??? Oh, I mean that’s been in the news lately. He’s been granted Name Supression because – get this – “A scandal like this might affect his reputation and income”… GEE, YA THINK??? I’m going to speculate on Dane Rumble. He seems like a dick. SHAME ON YOU DANE RUMBLE…
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· What shall I have for lunch?
· What shall I have for lunch?
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· What on earth do you buy your Nana for her 70th birthday?
· What on earth do you buy your Nana for her 70th birthday?
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· They are called broaches, right? It just occurred to me, for the first time ever, that Broach is one of those double meaning words, and wow, they are so unrelated it’s not funny.
· “How would Elizabeth broach the subject that Susan had stolen her Grandmothers broach?” HA!
· They are called broaches, right? It just occurred to me, for the first time ever, that Broach is one of those double meaning words, and wow, they are so unrelated it’s not funny.
· “How would Elizabeth broach the subject that Susan had stolen her Grandmothers broach?” HA!
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· I wonder when and how a Broach got its name?
· I wonder when and how a Broach got its name?
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· Howcome it seems like only yesterday that we were knocking on the door of the year 2000? Weren’t we just partying like it’s 1999??
· Howcome it seems like only yesterday that we were knocking on the door of the year 2000? Weren’t we just partying like it’s 1999??
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· What the hell did I do for the last ten New Years’s?? And No, I can proudly say that it wasn’t EVER The Gathering. I remember the Millenium one, where I was in Masterton and we got too drunk to drive to the river and camp out as per the plan so ended up watching other peoples New Years on TV before popping our poppers at midnight, watching the power Not go out, and going to bed...
· What the hell did I do for the last ten New Years’s?? And No, I can proudly say that it wasn’t EVER The Gathering. I remember the Millenium one, where I was in Masterton and we got too drunk to drive to the river and camp out as per the plan so ended up watching other peoples New Years on TV before popping our poppers at midnight, watching the power Not go out, and going to bed...
And I can remember the Bad one at Visionz where I took too much and ended up getting lost in the bush trying to escape the non-stop techno while the trees spoke to me in Maori and I cried because I knew they were trying to tell me something but I couldn’t understand them...
And the good one in Nelson at Shihad in the park for five bucks where I found forty bucks on the ground whilst waiting in line and then promptly lost everyone but ended up with all the drugs and naked in the bath at 6 in the morning with Bernard, Donna and Yemia… HA!
And one in Dunedin rolling through Fuel...
At least 3 in Wellington (all of them pretty average)...
Oh, and last years that I spent in Carterton getting drunk at my cousins (just for a change of pace… cough), then deciding I needed to find a nice, dark, quiet patch of grass to lie in at 2.30am and was snapped walking barefoot through town in the rain by my Mother of all people… DOH!
…Wow, I just accounted for most of them, huh…
…Wow, I just accounted for most of them, huh…
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· Has anyone been throwing an eye at the early days Shortland Street repeats on TVNZ6?? WOW. Fascinatingly bad. It must be only six months in, at the most. Back in the days of Marge, and Jenny, and bogan Nick, and a younger but just as bad Chris Warner, and Dr. Hone Ropata A.K.A. Jake The Muss A.K.A. The One, The Only, our man Tem. It’s amazing to think that some of these actors were actually actors, who went to actual drama school and stuff before they got the then-Roles Of Their Careers… Pfft.
· Has anyone been throwing an eye at the early days Shortland Street repeats on TVNZ6?? WOW. Fascinatingly bad. It must be only six months in, at the most. Back in the days of Marge, and Jenny, and bogan Nick, and a younger but just as bad Chris Warner, and Dr. Hone Ropata A.K.A. Jake The Muss A.K.A. The One, The Only, our man Tem. It’s amazing to think that some of these actors were actually actors, who went to actual drama school and stuff before they got the then-Roles Of Their Careers… Pfft.
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· I wonder if they will allow me to take in placards of worship to the B-52s? I have plans to make and take them. And if I make and take them, there’s no way I’m handing them over at the gate… Mind you, it may be dark by the time they come on... Maybe not.
· I wonder if they will allow me to take in placards of worship to the B-52s? I have plans to make and take them. And if I make and take them, there’s no way I’m handing them over at the gate… Mind you, it may be dark by the time they come on... Maybe not.
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· I wonder if I can sneak in Vodka?? Where there’s a will, there’s a team of security guards ready to foil your efforts...
· I wonder if I can sneak in Vodka?? Where there’s a will, there’s a team of security guards ready to foil your efforts...
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· What’s up with Tiger Woods, huh? Haha. The Fame Monster chooses another lamb to slaughter.
· What’s up with Tiger Woods, huh? Haha. The Fame Monster chooses another lamb to slaughter.
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· Does everyone really leave a name or ten off their lists? Man… I wrote up mine recently just out of interest, and just when I thought I had them all, I would then sporadically remember someone I’d forgotten and add them to the list, until I had a whole new dozen… and I’m not entirely sure I’m done yet. There are a few I’ve kept off for technical reasons, but even then… Exactly how much is it until you’re just gross?? I have a feeling it’s a lot more than my total. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
· Does everyone really leave a name or ten off their lists? Man… I wrote up mine recently just out of interest, and just when I thought I had them all, I would then sporadically remember someone I’d forgotten and add them to the list, until I had a whole new dozen… and I’m not entirely sure I’m done yet. There are a few I’ve kept off for technical reasons, but even then… Exactly how much is it until you’re just gross?? I have a feeling it’s a lot more than my total. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
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· Should I go to the library and post this? Or continue to be distracted by very loud B-52s and dancing around my lounge…
Dancing will win every time. Lataz.
· Should I go to the library and post this? Or continue to be distracted by very loud B-52s and dancing around my lounge…
Dancing will win every time. Lataz.
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