Musings of Madness.

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I am totally addicted to Big Brother Australia.  Although given half the chance, I'd probably be totally addicted to Big Brother Insert-Any-Other-Country-Here, given they were speaking English mind (what kind of Heathens don't, am I right??  Self-5.)

I am totally addicted to the point that I missed a couple of episodes, then watched them online, then carried straight on into a marathon of Big Brother spanning about 9 hours just watching right to the end, because the version on TV playing here was already behind, and I already wasn't able to help myself by looking up the winner anyway.  By the way, Ryan?  Meh.  I'd have preferred Skye - Imagine the mess she might have become given a 200k chance.
It's not that I'm particularly addicted to any of the individuals in the house.  In fact, this years round of housemates verged on Boring most of the time.  What I find fascinating and addicting is the social imprisonment going on, and how going stir-crazy affects them, and throwing in some ridiculous challenges to keep them on their toes and/or from going More stir crazy, and/or feed/starve them for a week.  All to further test the craziness.  It's Crazy, CRAZY I tell you!

And I LOVE it.

I would TOTALLY go into the Big Brother house given half an opportunity.  Hell, if I won lotto I would probably pour a large chunk of it into building and producing a Big Brother New Zealand and then make myself a housemate.  Just because I could, bitch.

I have No idea if I would last the distance, given that whether you stay or not is completely based on the nation judging your ass and deciding if they want to see your ugly mug on the telly every night.  But I do know I would at least be great entertainment.  I don't even think a "strategy" as such can exist in the house, from my many years of research (cough).  I see people trying to do that, and sure, you can manipulate elements of the situation, but by and large your fate is entirely out of your hands, so I'd just have to hope that I was giving everyone a bit of a laugh and a shock and making interesting TV and hope for the best.  I think I could win... Of course, there is always the chance that I might create the very first Big Brother House of Slaughter if I went postal (because let's face it - the psychotherapyologist guys who assess the mental stability of the housemates would have been entirely paid off by me to begin with, so who knows how crazy I could actually go, WHO. KNOWS).

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I have been totally third-wheeling of late.  Ie. Sexing with one half of a couple and then sexing with the other half when they get jealous and/or you feel guilty about it.  Yowza.  Better cut that out.  Gettin' too old for awkward fallout-drama... or so books have told me.

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Something I'm really hating at the moment - Growing Old and Getting Fat.  Jesus Christ.
I didn't think I wasn't going to age, don't get me wrong, but never, never in a million years would I have believed I would get fat.  And here's the worst part, I'm still only 70kg give or take, but that seems to fluctuate wildly between high 60's and mid 70's, and I know it's still not that much, but on a little guy like me, it's really obvious, and it only goes to one place... it's not like my Ass got bigger, or my calves.  Just this strap of flab wrapped around my waist like a needy child, refusing to let go.  What I should be doing is turning this new weight into muscle, seeing as I couldn't put on weight to save myself before I hit my mid-30's.  A solid 58kg from as soon as I stopped growing.  Ate like a trooper and went to the gym and still couldn't put on weight.  And now that I have it looks totally out of place.  I've realised that about 64kg is probably around the perfect weight for me.  Fucking weight, I can't even believe I'm going on about it at all.  Not something I've EVER had to think about before, nor is it something I like thinking about either.
I don't believe in New Years Resolutions or shit like, but I DO believe in shifting your mindstate, and pushing for more positivity and happiness in life.  If something is wrong (and you can), fix it.  So, it's baby steps, but I am slowly getting back into an exercise regime (and by slowly, I mean snail pace).  I have to pretty much condition my body to get used to exercise before I start really going at it, but like I said, small steps, and I am already feeling better, and I know the "zone" you have to get into still exists in my brain, because it seeing me through the preparation stages, so... go me.  Whether or not the scales are sticking is up for debate, but today I seem to be in the high 60's which is great.  Man, the things you have time for when you aren't cracking on facecrack anymore.  Boom.

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Is it just me, or does Summer make everyone super-fucking-horny.  Like, 15 year old schoolboy locked in a closet with ya drunk girlfriend horny.
Thankfully I'm having a good run this year, so I'm so not going as stir crazy as I could be with blue-balls, but still... I'm constantly having to hide my bulge.  What is it with this heat...

The tent's so big in ya pants, baby

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