3.
THE JONAS BROTHERS AND HANNAH MONTANA:
Somebody, please… Do the world a favour and put us out of our misery.
IRANS’ NEWFOUND NUCLEAR WEAPONS:
Somebody, please… Just push the button and fuck each other over. Let’s get it out of the way and done with. Things clearly need to get worse before they’ll get better, so we may as well just fast forward the process instead of draggin’ things out. BORING.
Besides, unless they aim it at us...
If you’ve ever gotten hold of a globe and held it so New Zealand is in the centre of your view, you’ll see that it’s only us, Australia and Antarctica on this side of the planet.
So when the rest of the world fucks itself over, we’ll (HOPEFULLY, knock on wood) be fine!
9/11:
Still cracks me up.
…Ok, probably sound a bit heartless there (especially to anyone American) but let’s be clear.
I feel sorry for those poor folk trapped in the towers at the time. I mean… Fuck that. That would have been Hideous, to say the least.
But those fools on the ground… Oh boy. They still provide endless amounts of laughter.
A few weeks back as the Crime & Investigation and History channels re-lived the day over a week from endless angles, I watched a particular doco made up of eyewitness footage, stretched out in real time from just after the first plane hit to the collapse of the second building…
Amazing, amazing, AMAZING to watch, and to the producers credit (meaning they had a heart and considered the families of victims), managed to avoid any actual shots of the planes hitting, and still just as captivating as the day it happened, but my god… How fuckin’ thick do you have to be.
People were standing around at the bottom of the buildings STILL WATCHING well after the second plane hit. I’m sorry, but if you weren’t running by then, then you deserved to be swallowed up in the rubble.
Run, America, Run! Believe it, Mutha FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRS, YOUR BIG STRONG COUNTRY IS UNDER ATTAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
I have to say, there’s something to be said about a giant smoke cloud engulfing the streets and swallowing the city… Mmm, pretty.
LOST SEASON SIX:
I can’t wait… I CAN’T WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIT!!!
For anyone who cares, I’ve read that about a third of the way through the season the two timelines will finally converge, and after that the narrative will become very linear. No flashbacks, nothing, just… ahead ‘til the end.
Plus everyone who’s ever been on it will again be back…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.
SCHOOL HOLIDAYS:
Uh oh. Here comes trouble.
Although I must say, there is something nice to be said about my sleepy little town being suddenly over-run with cruising teens and prams and tots.
Not so lifeless after all.
CELEBRITY SALARIES:
Does anyone else think it’s just disgusting that people out there are being paid in excess of sixty million dollars for a few months work? Or because they’re good at sport?
I’m sorry, but nobody’s THAT good.
MINISTERIAL HOUSING ALLOWANCES:
Fuckin’ get rid of it altogether. Essentially Free housing for people already on stupendous salaries well outside the range of Average is bullshit, and said stupendous salary (and maybe low end work travel allowances) should be enough Perks for anyone.
No Work lunches, No high end piss ups.
The rest of the country works hard for our taxes while a select few work hard at spending that tax on themselves.
HISSSSSSSSSSSSS. SHAME ON YOU.
FAMILIES:
I heard my brother’s 21st was on Saturday night. I wasn’t told or invited.
I even drove past it accidentally and realised what was going on.
My aunty and cousin were stunned, and I thought I would be too, but then I realised it was pretty much in line with the rest of my life with that side of the family, and it wasn’t so much ‘Sad’ as ‘Typical’.
When I texted my best friend to tell her, she told me that her longtime boyfriend’s brother got MARRIED the day before, and even though her boyfriend was the Best Man, she was not invited…
All I have to say to that is,
Thank god we have each other, ‘cause what a bunch of Fuckbags.
THE JONAS BROTHERS AND HANNAH MONTANA:
Somebody, please… Do the world a favour and put us out of our misery.
IRANS’ NEWFOUND NUCLEAR WEAPONS:
Somebody, please… Just push the button and fuck each other over. Let’s get it out of the way and done with. Things clearly need to get worse before they’ll get better, so we may as well just fast forward the process instead of draggin’ things out. BORING.
Besides, unless they aim it at us...
If you’ve ever gotten hold of a globe and held it so New Zealand is in the centre of your view, you’ll see that it’s only us, Australia and Antarctica on this side of the planet.
So when the rest of the world fucks itself over, we’ll (HOPEFULLY, knock on wood) be fine!
9/11:
Still cracks me up.
…Ok, probably sound a bit heartless there (especially to anyone American) but let’s be clear.
I feel sorry for those poor folk trapped in the towers at the time. I mean… Fuck that. That would have been Hideous, to say the least.
But those fools on the ground… Oh boy. They still provide endless amounts of laughter.
A few weeks back as the Crime & Investigation and History channels re-lived the day over a week from endless angles, I watched a particular doco made up of eyewitness footage, stretched out in real time from just after the first plane hit to the collapse of the second building…
Amazing, amazing, AMAZING to watch, and to the producers credit (meaning they had a heart and considered the families of victims), managed to avoid any actual shots of the planes hitting, and still just as captivating as the day it happened, but my god… How fuckin’ thick do you have to be.
People were standing around at the bottom of the buildings STILL WATCHING well after the second plane hit. I’m sorry, but if you weren’t running by then, then you deserved to be swallowed up in the rubble.
Run, America, Run! Believe it, Mutha FUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRS, YOUR BIG STRONG COUNTRY IS UNDER ATTAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!
I have to say, there’s something to be said about a giant smoke cloud engulfing the streets and swallowing the city… Mmm, pretty.
LOST SEASON SIX:
I can’t wait… I CAN’T WAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIT!!!
For anyone who cares, I’ve read that about a third of the way through the season the two timelines will finally converge, and after that the narrative will become very linear. No flashbacks, nothing, just… ahead ‘til the end.
Plus everyone who’s ever been on it will again be back…
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.
SCHOOL HOLIDAYS:
Uh oh. Here comes trouble.
Although I must say, there is something nice to be said about my sleepy little town being suddenly over-run with cruising teens and prams and tots.
Not so lifeless after all.
CELEBRITY SALARIES:
Does anyone else think it’s just disgusting that people out there are being paid in excess of sixty million dollars for a few months work? Or because they’re good at sport?
I’m sorry, but nobody’s THAT good.
MINISTERIAL HOUSING ALLOWANCES:
Fuckin’ get rid of it altogether. Essentially Free housing for people already on stupendous salaries well outside the range of Average is bullshit, and said stupendous salary (and maybe low end work travel allowances) should be enough Perks for anyone.
No Work lunches, No high end piss ups.
The rest of the country works hard for our taxes while a select few work hard at spending that tax on themselves.
HISSSSSSSSSSSSS. SHAME ON YOU.
FAMILIES:
I heard my brother’s 21st was on Saturday night. I wasn’t told or invited.
I even drove past it accidentally and realised what was going on.
My aunty and cousin were stunned, and I thought I would be too, but then I realised it was pretty much in line with the rest of my life with that side of the family, and it wasn’t so much ‘Sad’ as ‘Typical’.
When I texted my best friend to tell her, she told me that her longtime boyfriend’s brother got MARRIED the day before, and even though her boyfriend was the Best Man, she was not invited…
All I have to say to that is,
Thank god we have each other, ‘cause what a bunch of Fuckbags.
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